HAPPY BIRTHDAY JULES!!!!

Happy Birthday Jules! I can't believe Jules is already 1! It just seems like yesterday she was crying, crapping her pants and throwing food. Oh, that was yesterday......HEYOOOOOO! I love you baby Jules. Happy Birthday!

THE AIRBORNE TOXIC EVENT...TONIGHT!!!!!!!!

Play the West

On July 16th 2009 a new tradition was started. Play the West! I'm sure you asking yourself what in the world is Play the West? Well, in a nut shell it involves three rounds of golf and driving 1061.76 miles in three days through western Nebraska.

Andover to Ogallala

The drive from Andover to Ogallala was 462.77 miles of nothing but cornfields and power generating windmills. I'm not going to lie, the drive as far as scenery was pretty brutal and the company didn't make it any better. I learned a lot about Leastman I didn't know. For instance, he hates the band Cake! Who hates Cake?! Who?! I'll tell you who! Communists and Satin worshipers! Unbelievable! You think you know a guy and he drops a bomb like that on you. WOW! Come to find out Brian is a big fan of Alanis Morissette, Pink, Ashley Simpson, Michael Bolton and any other no talent hack that puts out a record. I tried to talk some since into him regarding his taste of music but he was having no part of it and got pretty defensive when I started ripping on Alanis, Pink, Ashley and Michael so I just left it alone. I'm still in shock and every time I think about it I throw up in my mouth a little.

Bayside Golf Club

The first course we played was Bayside Golf Course. Bayside was about a 20 min. drive out into deliverance country. Just kidding! Western Nebraskans are the salt of the earth! The drive was well worth it. Bayside was my favorite course of the trip. It might be my favorite course I have ever played. Bent grass fairways and tees, large undulating greens and some pretty awesome elevated tee boxes. All three courses we played had a different set-up as far as cart paths go. Cart paths were all sand, around every green and tee box with no paths from the tee box to green. It was awesome. once you teed off you just drove down the fairway. The weather was unbelievable. It was overcast and about 65. It did sprinkle a little on the back 9 but overall you couldn't ask for better golfing weather. I don't remember what either of us shot, it wasn't great, but I did have an awesome chip in from about 20-25 feet. We played quarter bingo, bango, bongo, greenies, and sandies and I took $4.50 from Leastman so in my book Bayside was a success.

North Platt
&
Magic Shadow Tattoos

On our way from Ogallala to McCook we stopped by North Platt to waste some time. To make a long story short we ended up at at tattoo parlor. Brian has been talking about getting a tattoo for a while so I shamed him into at least stopping by a tattoo parlor and looking through the tattoo books. We must have looked through 30 books before Brian decided on an Alanis Morissette back collage. He just kept rambling on about how much he loved her and how he wanted the world to know it. After a good hour I talked him down off the ledge and convinced him this was a really bad idea. He settled a cross with his wife's and daughters initials on three of the points. I think the best part of the tattoo parlor experience was the tattoo "artist". The "artist" was a 55 year old stoner/biker dude with about 50 tattoos all over his skinny, non-traditional biker body. He kept stopping mid tattoo to go smoke a "cigarette". He wasn't fooling anyone. I think I got high just from being around him. He was also babysitting his two granddaughters who just laid on the floor and drew what I could only guess were future tattoo masterpieces on paper with markers. I almost forgot! The tattoo "artists" wife was also there. She was probably mid 50's, 5' 6", and weighed a good 275. She also has dozens of tattoos and piercings to boot. The whole experience was just .....well.....odd. I wouldn't have changed a thing. That's how memories are made!

Heritage Hills

Course # 2 was Heritage Hills in McCook. It was an awesome course. This course had to have hills in the name. It was probably the hilliest course I have ever played. Like Bayside, Heritage Hills also had bent grass fairways, tees and very large greens. This was my second favorite course of the three. Oh yeah, I also took another $2.25

from Leastman. It was just too easy. After our golf outing we drove the big town of McCook to check out the sites. After that three and a half minutes flew by we headed to the hotel to get cleaned up and go get some dinner. The hotel staff recommended a steak house across the street from the hotel. They said it was the nicest restaurant in town. It was OK. It kind of reminded me of a Tanner's. I had a steak, some sauteed mushrooms, potato and about 16 Maker's and cokes. When we decided to call it a night and asked for our tabs mine was a whopping $32.00. I love McCook!

Wild Horse

Our final stop was Gothenburg and Wild Horse Golf Club. It was awesome. Like the other two courses it had bent grass fairways, tees, and huge greens. It also had some 6' deep bunkers that were probably the closest thing I'll ever see to the British Open. Just ask Brian. He loved those bunkers! The greens were also like putting on glass. They were by far the fastest greens I've ever played on or ever want to play on. Even a two footer wasn't a gimme. Like I said the course was awesome and we had a great time but we got stuck behind a four-some of blue hairs that must have just taken up golf. It ended up being a 6 hour round. This is not the course for beginners. The fairways were about 30 yards wide with about 4 feet of rough on either side and then came the gunch. The gunch was 5' tall native grass. UGLY! The 6 hour round would have been fine any day but Sunday. Considering we had 5.5 hours back to Andover then I had another 2.5 back to Kansas City it was brutal! I ended getting back to KC at midnight Sunday night and had to be at work Monday morning at 6:00. I almost forgot. Leastman got back $4.00 at Wild Horse. I guess you can't win them all but I still came out ahead.

It was a great trip. I recommend everyone that loves golf check out PLAY THE WEST!

Daycare Drawing

This masterpiece was drawn by Jaden at daycare yesterday.

It's an elephant! Get your mind out of the gutter!

Jones, let me know if you want Jaden to handle the illustrations for your next comic book.

Jaden's New Brothers?

The other day Jaden was going on and on about her two brothers. I didn't think two much about it at the time. After all, she is three. I just figured she was talking about some other kids in her class or maybe she had some imaginary friends. No big deal.

Over the next couple of days she continued to talk about her two brothers. I told her she didn't have any brothers. Only a baby sister. That was the wrong thing to say. I have never seen her get so mad. I mean really mad. How dare I tell her she didn't have any brothers! This went on for a while so I decided to play along.

"Jaden, what are your brothers names?"

"Joe and Steve!"

"Joe and Steve huh."

"Yeah! There the best big brothers ever!"

"OK"

"Steve is at college. He's not here right now."

"What? Steve is at college?"

"Yeah! It's really far away."

Then is dawned on me who Joe and Steve were. They are the two really creepy, weird guys that are on Blue's Clues. Well, actually Steve is no longer on the show. In the show he did just what Jaden said. He went to College and Joe took his spot.

Once I figured this all out I don't think I have ever laughed so hard in my life. Now every afternoon on our drive home I ask Jaden about her brothers and she gives me a very detailed account of what Joe and Steve are up to. Too funny!

In case you haven't logged aver 2000 hours hangin with Blue like I have. Let me fill you in. Steve is on the left and Joe is on the right. If you don't know now you know!

New Mower

Check out my new (to me) mower! This bad boy has a 33" cut, and 14 horsepower of grass annihilating power! It sure beats my old 22"cut, 4 horsepower walmart special. I love it! I looked a long time for a used commercial walk behind that wasn't thousands of dollars and my persistence paid off with this beast. After a few evenings of mower modifications I was ready to try her out. It took some work but I got the mower deck height up to 4.25" and it cut great, but something wasn't quite right.

Something was still missing......A ZEBRA STRIPE mower modification system.......of course! Since my new mower was bigger and badder than my old crappy push mower I decided I needed to bulk up my old ZEBRA STRIPER and come up with a new design. After many sleepless nights I came up with a new idea. Now I just had to make my dream a reality! The picture below is the new and improved ZEBRA STRIPER 2.0 brought to life. After installing the ZEBRA STRIPER 2.0, my new mower is now fit to cut the finest turf grass in KC (aka, my yard).

Leastman's 30th Birthday

The weekend of June 20th and 21st Erica and I went to Andover KS to visit my best friend, Brian "I DON'T DRINK DIET COKE!!!!!" Leastman, and celebrate his 30th birthday. We dropped off our kids at Erica's mom's for the weekend and spent a much needed kidless weekend together.

Friday night we went to "old town" in Wichita. We started the evening off at a mexican restaurant. It was more authentic food than the typical mexican restaurant. It was SOOOO good! SOOOO good!

I think the funniest part of the weekend happened during dinner Friday night. Occasionally, Brian and I will dare each other to do dumb embarrassing stuff just to make each other look like an idiot. My dare from Brian came the Tuesday before our weekend festivities. He called me and wanted me to grow a handlebar mustache to wear out to the bar on Friday night. Not being one to refuse a dare, especially one involving something as easily accomplished as growing facial hair I accepted. I even wore a hot pink polo shirt to emphasize my stache and draw as much attention to my self as possible.

My dare to Brian was during dinner Friday night. Earlier in the week Brian's wife Dietra made reservations for 15 people at River City Brewery. The original celebration plan included a large dinner with Brian's friends and siblings followed by a night out at a local bar. Due to unforeseen circumstances Erica and I were the only people able to make it out early enough for diner.

During dinner Dieta's cell phone rang......it was River City Brewery. She recognized the number and didn't answer. Dietra had forgot to call River City and cancel the reservation. A few seconds later her phone rang again. It was River City Brewery.

This is when my dare to Brian comes into play. I told Brian he had to call River City back and cancel the reservation. No big deal right. Right. But he had to tell them he couldn't make it due to his rampant diarrhea. He agreed and called River City. This was Brian's end of the conversation.

"Hi, this is Brian Leastman and I had a reservation for 15 at 7:30. Yeah, I need to cancel that reservation."

"Right, we wont be able to make it. ( giggle, giggle) My wife has rampant diarrhea! (giggle, giggle)It's pretty bad!"(giggle, giggle)

"OK, thanks."(Giggle, giggle)

Just to be clear to my knowledge Dietra did not have rampant diarrhea. That was Brian's failed attempt at being clever and funny. Who am I kidding. It was hilarious! I had beer coming out my nose!

The rest of the evening was great. After diner we went to and met up with some friends at the Brickyard, listened to some live music and had a few drinks. We even had a real live drunken leprechaun pass out at our table! It was a great weekend. Welcome to your 30's Leastman! Your first hip replacement is just around the corner.

Hendren's Visit "The K"

I'M BACK!!! I haven't posted anything in about two months! Shame on me! It seems that once summer rolls around everything is just so busy. Stay tuned because I have alot to catch everyone up on.

A few weeks ago Erica's employer treated us to a family outing at "The K". If you haven't made a trip to "The K" to check out the stadium renovations it is definitely worth your time. Believe it or not I think Jaden was more excited to go to the game than I was. All she talked about for two weeks prior was going to see the Royals. I think she was really disappointed when we got to our seats and she figured out that we were just there to watch. She couldn't believe we didn't get to participate.

Before the game we met some friends in the parking lot to tailgate. Shortly after meeting our friends Jaden started doing the pee-pee dance. If you have kids you are all too familiar with the dance I speak of. It's the dance that starts the second you get anywhere in public and a restroom is no where to be found. I asked her if she could hold it untill we got inside the stadium and her answer was "I gotta go SOOOOO bad!", so waiting was out.

There were two options left.....port-o-potty.....or squat between some cars. Since I really hate taking a leak in a port-o-potty my self I decided to try the squating option first. I took Jaden between some cars and told her to pull down her pants, squat, and let her go. Jaden looked at me like I was crazy and refused to pee on the ground. The only other option was the dreaded port-o-potty!!!!

I scooped up Jaden and started the trek over hell's half acre to wait in the 15 min line, hoping Jaden didn't pee all over me and herself during the wait just to use the disgusting, smelly, foul portable toilet. When we entered the toilet and Jaden saw 500 other peoples waste in the toilet she burst into tears and almost scratched out my eyes to get outside. She was screaming and carrying on and I have no doubt that the people waiting in the line thought I was trying to shove her through the lid! After all this work and comotion Jaden still hasn't gone pee! So we headed back to the tailgating festivities to figure out our next plan of attack.

When we finally got back to the tailgating festivities I was just going to go inside the stadium and end the pee-pee dance-athon but one of Erica's friends came to the rescue with a spare pull-up. Brilliant! I slapped that sucker on Jaden and the pee-pee dance stopped! All that for one little girl to pee. Overall we all had a great time and can't wait to find time to go back........with a pee-pee plan in place, of course!

Daddy's Girls

WHAT THE .........?

This is a Mulvane High School team basketball picture from 1955. WHY? Who decided this pose was a good idea? Why do all these guys have their hands on each others hips? WHY? This pose is a really, really bad idea anytime, anyplace and for any reason but especially if your shorts are short enough that your twig and berries could pop out at any moment! UNBELIEVABLE!!!

Abasolo, I want you to try a social experiment for next years team picture. Recommend this pose and let me know how it works out.

The Toadies

If you enjoy 90's rock than you will love this picture of me with the lead singer of The Toadies, Vaden Todd Lewis. I went to The Toadies concert with Jones on May 23rd at the Beaumont Club in Westport. The picture on the bottom right is of Gareth Jones lead singer of People in Planes. People in Planes was the opener. This was the second time Jones and I have seen The Toadies and People in Planes in 6 months. Long live 90's grunge rock!!!

Golf Weekend

A couple of weekends ago I got to play golf.........wait for it........TWICE IN ONE WEEKEND!!!!! To top that off I got to play with two of my favorite people in the world, my pop, and my wife. I played in a tournament Saturday morning at Heston Golf Course with my dad. It was a great time. I don't get very many opportunities to play with my dad so when we get the chance the Hendren's tare it up. We shot 2 over par, pretty decent for two hacks.

Saturday evening the Hendren family went to the thriving metropolis of Seneca Kansas to visit some friends(and to think of all the crap I get in Kansas City because I am from Mulvane). All joking aside Seneca is a great town and has a fairly new track, Spring Creek Golf Course. Erica and I played Spring Creek with our friends Sunday morning. Even though our round was cut short due to a thunderstorm and the holes we did get in were played in 40 mph winds we all had a great time.

I included the pictures of Erica's swing to document the fact that even though she hasn't played golf in a few years she looks like a pro when compared to Sir Charles Barkley!